The longest day. (Choka#1)

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

After retirement,

he woke at the crack of dawn ,

habits beat like heart.

Hazy eyes at suit and tie,

dangling from the peg ,

like the gaping oblong face.

His office bag smells,

like steel of train , dried peanuts,

sweat and burnt papers.

Spiders are now working hard,

playing peek a boo.

Smell of tea , siren of train,

he misses them all.

Soft cushion makes him recall,

stiff wooden chair,

stiff table with dents and nuts.

Grey hair of his hands,

misses the touch of rough files,

dusty and ragged.

He misses the noise of shoes,

damp walls and humdrum.

He tries to read , walk and talk,

but time trails like snail.

Like the ship knocks the island,

dusk knocks his window,

it feels like years have passed.

The hard longest day,

has passed unbearably slow,

but memories stays like smoke.

~Mayuri Srivastava~

Of course retirement is fun , one can do all the stuff that they have shoved under the carpet of responsibility. They can travel , they can learn music , they can read books , they can just chill I mean it’s really fun . Still the very first day after retirement is the longest day because the mind and body usually is not ready for that break . People usually have worked like 30-40 years so it’s quite obvious to miss those working days and the environment and this thing makes the very next day after retirement the longest day. I wrote this poem to express this very point. I ended up writing a long poem.

My father used to travel by train to his workplace and he had this office bag (which he still uses ) and office dress so these things were there in my mind while I was writing this poem.

I have used the form called choka to write this poem. Choka is a japanese syllabic poem consisting of alternating lines of five and seven syllables and ending with an extra line of seven syllables and it does not rhyme. Choka are usually used to narrate a story.

I wrote this poem for collen chesebro’s Tuesday prompt .Click on the link to know more about the prompt.

Thank you for reading you can give me your review I will try to improve.

14 thoughts on “The longest day. (Choka#1)

  1. I really love this. It expresses what I’ve noticed in some people – especially men – who having been defined by their work are, at least at first, lost. Happily, it wasn’t my experience. Great poem!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s