When I was a kid I had a castle so big and gleaming in my courtyard. It’s ceiling studded with precious moon and stars were so high as if it could kiss the sky . It always looked to me like an epitome of art. The castle was beautiful but complex and had intricacies that I failed to unpuzzle as a kid. With it’s grand and inviting doors and windows and with it’s cozy and warm space it was enough to provide me with shelter and love. Whenever the world raged with storm I used to hide behind the curtains and watch the sky thunder and fall because I knew my lovely castle will keep me safe and strong. Whenever I fell in my eyes I looked at it’s peak , the peak which smiled with confidence and in return instilled in me the confidence and self-esteem that I needed for my life. the castle stood tall and graceful even when the earth stirred or even when the sky growled. When I was a kid my castle to me was perfect in the world with no flaws and perfect and strong.
Now I have grown big and capable enough to reach my castle’s peak which earlier used to play hide and seek. I have grown enough to understand it’s complexities , I am grown enough to see the moon and the stars covered with tiny but infinite stains and scars.
I don’t know if it is because I have grown so big or if the castle has aged that now all it’s flaws , holes and pits looks so huge and bare. Maybe my castle was always so flawed or maybe it has grown flawed after it took me in it’s arms. My heart asunder when I see my castle tremble and break , My heart asunder to see it’s slouched peak , My heart asunder to see the highest wall and glass covered with holes and rust.
I feel so hurt to see my illusion of perfection break and the truth is I will never know if the flawless castle was my illusion or reality because it never utters a word of pride or a word of complain. It just continues to stand there slouched but tall. Now I don’t know where to look at when my world falls and when it seems so hard to stand and talk. My castle still returns my smile and caresses my mind I think it is worn out because it gave it’s everything to make my life so happy and warm , with this very thought I drown with guilt every night .
Now I have just become a caretaker of my castle which was once so ravishing and strong.
From this story I basically wanted to talk about people who look after us who cares for us and who keeps us safe when we are kids . To us they look perfect and complete they provide us with a space to hide but when we grow up these people who are closest slowly opens about their flaws and insecurities which in turn breaks our heart because we love them so much that it hurts to watch them tremble . Most of the time they developed those scars because they were too busy loving us or sometimes these scars were always with them it was our eyes which couldn’t filter those flaws when we were kids.